How get over it`

How get over it`?

This is a post from Oroborus Forum that was about starting over and the Synchronicity that happened with the daisies and with those that had come to know the Spirit through DNATREE. To find the synch you can search for dnatree posts in this thread but several of the other posts were very synchronous as well.

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shellsie

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:19 pm Post subject: How get over it`?

Hello. I am in a very sad state of mind. Recently I broke up with a man and moved out. He was too interested in other women and lied to me a lot.... mostly about this and moneymatters, I think. He is not a nice person. Has never been Has a lot of emotional stuff inside from childhood... Could need therapy but I think he doesnt have the guts to do it. It hurt to much... Despite all this I fell for the guy....I trusted him. I dont love him....But I have a hard time get over it! I know it sounds crazy. But there is so many questions in my mind... Why did he have to contact other women? Why wasnt I enough? Why did he lie to me about everything? Why cant I let go? I dont se him anymore. Dont talk to him. Dont want to have any contact at all. But I do want to heal and move on. Please somebody give me some advice. And maybe som answers.. Im feeling so sad.... Shellsie

sakeringo

Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 2907

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject:

You can get over it and you will. Why weren't you enough for him? The question really is why do you for one moment blame yourself because he is a dishonorable man who behaved badly? That's on him, not you. Why do men play around like that? Because they can. When women refuse to tolerate infidelity and kick it to the curb the first time, when women refuse to sleep with men who are already involved with another woman for ANY reason at all, then maybe that will change. Because there were women out there willing to sleep with him is why he played around. Because he could. And because HE is a pig. Put the responsibility for that on him, not you. Why did he lie so much? Because that is who he is and because he thinks he can get away with it. And because HE is a pig. You are understanding and compassionate regarding his emotional scars. That's what we women do. We make excuses for men's callous behavior toward us. Do you think for one moment he has any compassion or understanding for your emotional scars from YOUR childhood? You must have at least ONE. Most people do not emerge from childhood unscathed. However, that is no excuse for being a cad, and a pig. Poor him, he had a sad childhood. Bullsh!t. Plain and simple. Here's how you will heal. You will think very hard about yourself until you realize that you are beautiful and special and more than enough for any GOOD man in this world, deserving of only the best in this life, especially when it comes to a relationship. You will love yourself enough to never allow another cad to use you in the shabby way this man did. Because you deserve to be treated like the beautiful woman you are. You will seek joy in every single day until there is no more room for the pain you are feeling now. Until you get him out of your system, you will throw rocks which represent him into bodies of water as a symbol of your letting him go once and for all. Time and determination to be happy will heal you. If you like to read, please read "He's Just Not That Into You" or anything by Wayne Dyer. And you will heal and release him when you realize that you do not NEED a man in your life at all, but that you are a complete spendid woman all on your own who can fulfill every need you have in your life all by yourself if necessary. When you are so busy going about living a full and happy life, you will attract a healthy man to you if that is what you want. But it will because you want such a man, not because you need a man. Any man. Take back your self respect. Take back your power and never give it away again. Learn to see red flags. Assume that a man who is not nice will not ever be nice. If it looks like a crocodile it IS a crocodile, not a pussy cat. And you have no power to change another human being. If he needs to be changed in any way in your eyes, that is a red flag. He is not for you. Walk away immediately. Never again volunteer for a broken heart. Because you deserve better.

shellsie

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:16 pm Post subject: Thank you so much...

...for your encouraging word. Though I know that its him to blame....I become the victim...He is the one who done wrong.... But I still dont get it. And probably I never will understand what happened. In the beginning there were many red flags...which I ignored....Dont get that either... I am so glad that his out of my life... but not out of my mind....and I dont want him on my mind. I will never forgive him for beeing such a pig... You are so right. Of course I have to look up. And se myself. There is of course a deeper meaning to why I let this man maipulate me. I had to learn the hard way. It hurts but its nice to have some chat here and get so positive energy back at me. Thanks and all good to you. Shellsie

dnatree

Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 487

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:42 pm Post subject:

Quote:

Though I know that its him to blame

How close You are to finding Your life

http://stephentree.com/veil.htm
_________________
Your moments in wonder, reveal the true intentions of the heart. The smallest of points overlooked changes entirely everything and renders all interpretations meaningless.

sakeringo

Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 2907

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:58 pm Post subject:

Well, Shel, I think just drop the whole blame thing. It might be healthier to simply take responsibility WITHOUT GUILT for the fact that you ignored the red flags, and take that lesson away with you. You know, we do the best we know how at the time and that's how we learn. All men are not like him. He's who he is. He's not for you. It doesn't make him evil or anything. He's just a jerk living on a very low level of existence at the bottom of the pond where all the scum is. When he's 70 and no woman will look at him twice let alone screw him, he'll turn around and say what the? And STILL not get it. Maybe he'll be lucky and wise up and not waste an entire lifetime using people and tossing them aside so heartlessly like broken dolls. You know what? Not your problem. His. But there really are men out there who are good and kind and loving and their flags are green. Just hold out for one of those. Be that for yourself and you will attract one of those. Chalk it up to experience. Lesson learned. At the first red flag, do not go rationalizing things or thinking your love will heal his wounds. Screw that. Stop it in its tracks. Wish the bugger well and move on. Look, you said this was recently. It takes time. Some cherished misconceptions you had have been ripped asunder. Be patient. No need for any guilt on your part. No need for blame. Just need for release and thank God you got away from him before you spent 30 years being treated like crap. Best way to release him is to stop focusing on him and focus on you. Get selfish. You've earned it.

l'eau

Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 1157

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:00 pm Post subject:

Quote:

but not out of my mind....and I dont want him on my mind.
I will never forgive him for beeing such a pig

But that's just the point, Shellsie - if you want him out of your mind, you have to forgive him.

Harboring a resentment is a way of giving a person rent-free space in your mind. It's a way of giving them control of your time and energy and life, while they happily go on living life freely.

Forgive. It means to let go. Release. So you can get on with your life.

(I know - not always easy - but it can be done)

wishing you the best,
l'eau

shellsie

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 8:32 pm Post subject:

Hi all. Sakeringo: You are so wise... I will print all you said and put it on my toiletmirrow so I'll be remided every day until I GET IT!!! Thanks for your support. It feels good. I know that all of you have your own story of broken hearts, thats why you know what I'm going through... Yeah....forgive and forget... and move on. I have to find it in myself to forgive that man. And youre so on the spot l'eau, as long as I dont forgive I just carry him with me.... OOOh so sad. I really dont want to do that rest of my life. But maybe I have to forgive myself for letting him manipulate and use me to fulfill his own emotional needs....for trusting him...thats harder.... Blessings Shell

LearningToFly
Moderator

Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 1065

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:55 pm Post subject:

After you look at those things in your mirror, close your eyes and say (out loud): "Thank you (person's name) for the lessons you taught me about trust and love. I will never forget those lessons, and I sincerely appreciate your teaching them to me. Now that I have learned those lessons, with a full heart and unconditional love I release you from your contract to teach me. Go in peace, and may you find what you seek." _________________ Align yourself with those who seek the truth, and avoid those who have found it. - Vaclav Havel

shellsie

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:17 pm Post subject:

Thank YOU, Learning to fly, for sharing your thoughts. I will follow your advice and do that. Tomorrow morning. So I can be free of all negative energy for this man. And hopefully I can move on with my life.... With more light in my mind.... Shell

dnatree

Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 487

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:12 pm Post subject:

If you wait
Tommorrow Morning
Something Fresh will invite You to begin a new day!!

http://www.stephentree.com/snow/

http://oroborusforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=65316#65316

Quote:

Like in the film "Peaceful Warrior the story does not end at a broken heart,,, it begins there. I think the most important part of focusing the heart is a broken heart. I believe when we ask for our life to come often we recieve what we believe is the opposite. In time we come to understand the "true intention of the heart."

_________________
Your moments in wonder, reveal the true intentions of the heart. The smallest of points overlooked changes entirely everything and renders all interpretations meaningless.

shellsie

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Posts: 20
Location: Sweden

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:34 am Post subject:

Hi all. dnatree: Thank you. But, you see,